Almost every child feels nervous before the 11+, and a few nerves can even help with focus. The aim is to help your child understand that nerves are normal and that they know how to handle them.
Talk about the worries
Ask what is on their mind. It might be getting answers wrong, running out of time, sitting in an unfamiliar school hall or letting you down. Once you know the specific worry, you can deal with it directly.
Make the format familiar
Practice papers, timed questions and the familiarisation materials for your area take the mystery out of the test. If the test is held at a grammar school rather than your child's own school, visiting an open evening beforehand can help the building feel less strange.
Stay calm yourself
Children pick up on adult anxiety very quickly. Keep conversations about the test relaxed and matter of fact, and avoid discussing scores or school places in front of them.
Focus on effort
Praise careful reading, persistence and trying hard. Asking about scores all the time sends the message that the number is all that matters.
Look after the basics
Sleep, regular meals, fresh air and downtime all affect how well a child copes with pressure. Skip revision the night before. A normal evening and an early night will do more good.
Teach a simple breathing trick
Breathe in slowly for a count of four, pause for a moment, then breathe out for four. A few rounds before the test starts, or when a question feels hard, can help your child feel back in control.
Keep it in perspective
The 11+ is important, but it does not define your child. Whatever happens, it will soon be over, and you will be proud of them either way.
"You've prepared for this. Just do your best."
